Sorry to break the news, but I am not and will never be the same as I was before. Each day I am transforming into someone different – in two main aspects.
One, I find myself growing in transformation in being more like Jesus Christ. I am not perfect, but I do see how joy and peace has more often than not embraces my heart and soul. I also notice how my spirit is more sensitive to others – their hurts and struggles. There is still so much more to grow and learn of, but it is so awesome to see that change in me as I read His Word, pray daily and consistently, and do His will accordingly!
Two, I have noticed an uncomfortable realization that as a missionary, being one to spend an extended amount of time in a new culture/surrounding (doesn’t matter the location), my personal culture changes. As a result, I don’t fit in either my home land – United States, nor Mexico for I have integrated them both in my life. Emily, my mentor, mentioned to me, that there aren’t many who would really understand this concept, but those in the mission field. I have notice this truth when I was in California, visiting my home, there was just a part of me that didn’t feel like I fit in. Yes, I have friends and family who love me dearly, and I seem to fit in fine, but there is a difference in me that long for Mexico’s environment and culture. However, in Mexico City, I am a foreigner. Never will I become fully Mexican nor do I want to be. I have American traits and tendencies so I don’t fit exactly right here either, but there being here has molded me. I am a mix of the two and will always have part of me American and the other part Mexican.
Just a thought I wanted to share with you all! Hope to give you a little bit of the life as a missionary.
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